The grade distribution for the second essay was actually worse than the first, though there were a few more higher-end grades this time. A few thoughts:

• The document analysis questions are starting places, not a checklist for your final essay. You should think about these questions before you write your essay, and the more interesting answers might well form the core question/thesis of your essay.
• This is not a book report: summary is not the point. Discussing evidence which does not relate to your thesis detracts from your grade, not enhances it.
• I can tell the difference between a simplistic question of fact and an interesting question of interpretation and analysis; you don’t get a lot of credit for asking questions that can be answered by a simple reading of the plain text.
• Never assume that a document is telling the truth: always be prepared to explain why you trust it, particularly when there’s reason not to.
• “If they hadn’t discovered…. we’d never have ….” is a terrible argument in most cases. If, for example, Columbus hadn’t discovered the Americas, someone else would have, probably within a few dozen years. If Newton hadn’t explained gravity, someone else would have, probably Leibniz. Sometimes a delay of a few decades really matters (the atomic bomb is one obvious example) but sometimes it really doesn’t.

Since I’m spending considerable class time (Friday and Monday) on the historical context of the document for the next assignment (due next Friday), I’m going to keep the due date as is. I’m sorry that I won’t be available for office hours Tuesday or Wednesday, due to the Jewish New Year, but I will be checking email fairly regularly, and I will have office hours on Thursday, 10-12.

To give you a better idea, a model for your papers, I’m including below the text of the best paper from this time around. It’s not perfect (and I corrected a few spelling/grammar issues, just to keep things clear) but it has a strong thesis, a good command of the relevant evidence, makes judicious use of the textbook for supporting context and is interesting, to boot. I don’t recommend mimicking or copying, but it is a good example of the kind of thinking and writing which I want to see a lot more of.

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A few thoughts on common issues:

• Comparisons to the present are a distraction, at best, and can completely derail a paper. This isn’t a long assignment, where you can wander around thinking deep thoughts: this is a short essay which has to be focused on the document itself and what it means in context.
• I know my handwriting can be challenging: if you have any questions about what I’ve written, please ask.
• There are only a few editorial marks I’ll make on most papers:
  • I’ll circle spelling and grammatical/punctuation errors
  • I’ll put a wavy line under words that I think don’t fit well, or mean something else
  • I’ll underline things about which I have questions, and often put those questions in the margin
  • If I put a question mark or ≈ (wavy “almost equals” sign), it means that I’m not sure about your evidence or argument. Exclamation points are for surprising or funny things (laughing with, not at). Check marks are a way for me to mark and find theses, good evidence, etc.; they’re good, but not very meaningful for you.
• Most of my real comments are on the separate rubric page. I try to make suggestions which will help you on future essays rather than writing revision notes for this essay.
• The basic topics and questions listed in the assignment handout are starting places, tools to move you towards interesting topics and questions worth further consideration. They don’t give you a thesis, nor are they a terribly good structure for a paper.
• I don’t adjust grades on essays the way that I do on tests. Rather, I use a fairly objective standard based on the rubric — thesis, evidence, context, etc. — so you have a clear sense of what a grade really means.
  • An “A” grade is an excellent piece of work, thoughtful, careful, and very well-supported;
  • a “B” grade is a solid effort, with a clear thesis, substantial evidence, and fairly convincing;
  • a “C” grade is adequate, with most of the elements in place but not very clear or convincing, or maybe one major element missing
  • a “D” grade indicates a substantial failure to provide the elements of a good paper — thesis, evidence, historical background.
  • an “F” means nothing went right.